How Well Do You Know Your Child?

A recent study followed 131 children who were the subject of a landmark book published in the early 70′s about the effects of divorce on children. These children are now adults aging between their 20′s and 40′s. In this follow up book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A Twenty-five Year Landmark Study Judith Wallerstein followed up on those original children. The divorce had permanent repercussions. One complaint of those children, even 25 years later was that nobody listened to them, no one cared to ask them what was going on. Take a minute to reflect. What you really want should be that your child will become a healthy happy adult. Be certain that your representation promotes that goal.

Custody Questions:

Answer the following questions to help yourself and your attorney prepare for a custody case

1. Please state your name, age – education – residence – health – date married – date separated.
2. Names, ages, birth dates of the children.
3. Are you employed?
4. By whom – how long – job description?
5. What time do you leave to go to work in the morning and what time do you leave to come home in the evening?
6. How does your leaving for work in the morning coordinate with the children leaving to go to school in the morning?
7. How would you handle the children going to school in the morning in the event the Court grants you custody?
8. Do you have flexibility with your employment in the event the children become ill or for another reason you have to be home with them for a day or two?
9. Who prepares the meals for the children in the home?
10. How many meals a day do they have in the home?
11. What kinds of meals do the children have for breakfast?
12. Who prepares breakfast – lunch – dinner?
13. What kind of meals do you have for lunch and dinner?
14. Do you try to provide the children with balanced meals and are you aware of the nutritional value of foods?
15. What time do you generally have dinner?
16. Does your spouse come home for dinner and do you have dinner together?
17. Do the children like the foods that you prepare?
18. What are the children’s favorite foods?
19. Who does the shopping for food?
20. Do the children go with you when you shop?
21. Do you eat out with the children?
22. Describe the children’s manners, table and otherwise.
23. Describe the children’s cleanliness and how you could tend to their hygiene.
24. Do they have separate bedrooms? Describe their bedrooms.
25. Do the children have chores and responsibilities about the house? What are they?
26. Are the children responsible for their rooms and clothes?
27. Has your husband/wife ever complained to you about the children?
28. Does your spouse allow the children to have friends over to spend the night?
29. Who is the children’s doctor or pediatrician?
30. Where is the office located?
31. Who takes the children to the doctor?
32. Do you know the doctor?
33. Estimate how many times you’ve been to the doctor’s office with the children.
34. Has your spouse been to the doctor’s office?
35. Do the children have any special medical or dental health problems?
36. Do the children go for regular medical and dental checkups?
37. Who takes them and how often?
38. Do the children have any prescriptions that they’re taking at this time?
39. Have they taken prescription drugs over the past several years?
40. Who gives the children the medicine when they need it?
41. During the past several years have any of the children been ill enough that they’ve had to stay home for several days?
42. Who would stay with the children during this period of time?
43. Did that create any problem with your employment or with your spouse’s employment?
44. Who purchases the clothing for the children?
45. Do the children have any particular likes or dislikes regarding their clothing?
46. Do you see that the children brush their teeth regularly?
47. Who does the laundry mending and sewing?
48. What schools do the children attend?
49. What grade are they in?
50. Have you ever visited the school?
51. Have you engaged in activities at the school (PTA or volunteer)? How often do you do this?
52. Have you met with the teachers? How often?
53. Are the children having problems in school?
54. How are their grades in school and do they like school?
55. How do they get along with their classmates?
56. Do they like their teachers?
57. Do the children have homework?
58. Does a child ever ask you or your spouse to come help with homework?
59. Do you help the child with homework?
60. In reference to other intellectual activities, do you or your spouse read to the children in the home, take them to museums, theaters, plays, etc.?
61. Do the children have music lessons?
62. What is your position concerning television viewing by the children?
63. How do you deal with discipline with the children?
64. What is your involvement with the children’s religious activities?
65. Do the children have birthday parties and who arranges them?
66. Describe the last birthday party.
67. Do you have any particular kinds of talents that enable you to be a good parent?
68. Describe a typical weekday that you would have with your children from the time the first person in the household gets up until the end of the day when the last person goes to sleep.
69. Describe a typical weekend, a Saturday or Sunday, from the time the first person wakes up until the last person goes to sleep.
70. Describe the children’s relationship with their father/mother.
71. Why do you believe that the children would be better off in your custody than in the custody of your spouse?
72. If you were awarded custody of the children, would you encourage a strong relationship between them and their father/mother?

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