Family & Divorce Law Services

Child Custody

II. CUSTODY TRIALS, A RISKY BUSINESS

Many years ago, when I was a new attorney, a more experienced attorney told me a story about an early trial.  The plaintiff, a young woman had tripped over a display in a store and cut her Achilles tendon. After a 1 day trial, the jury came back with a verdict that pleased the young woman's attorney greatly. A member of the jury came up to him afterwards and said it was a shame about the young woman, he agreed. It was sad that such a thing could happen in a store, he agreed.  The juror was sorry the award was so small for such an injury. The attorney, who thought the verdict was more than adequate, said he was thankful the jurors had done such a fine job. Then the juror shook his head sadly and said “It's a wonder she didn't become pregnant.”

Taking a case to trial is always risky. Before you go to court, be certain you understand both the risk and the cost of going to court. A custody trial is the most wrenching trial a parent can sit through.  You will hear and will say things about the abilities of you and your spouse to parent your children.  Errors and imperfections will be magnified, isolated incidents will turn into habits and future fears, true problems will be trivialized and explained away. The judge will listen, attentively or not, to hours, days or weeks of testimony and will make a decision that will certainly not please everyone, and probably not please anyone.  And the financial and emotional cost will be enormous, both to you and your children.

Your lawyer should discuss all these matters with you, review the evidence, and take her or his role as counselor at law as seriously as the role of advocate; only then are you ready to form your trial plan. You and your attorney should plan and craft your matter into a logical progression of testimony.  You are building a case, first with a firm foundation, then with attention to detail and craft until you have a structure that the court will want to buy.

A recent study followed 131 children who were the subject of a landmark book published in the early 70's about the effects of divorce on children.  These children are now adults aging between their 20's and 40's.  In this follow up book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A Twenty-five Year Landmark Study Judith Wallerstein followed up on those original children. The divorce had permanent repercussions. One complaint of those children, even 25 years later was that nobody listened to them, no one cared to ask them what was going on.  Take a minute to reflect. What you really want should be that your child will become a healthy happy adult. Be certain that your representation promotes that goal.
 

I. CHILD CUSTODY AND YOUR CHILDREN’S RIGHTS AND NEEDS

II. CUSTODY TRIALS, A RISKY BUSINESS

III. COURT SERVICES RECOMMENDATIONS/ CUSTODY EVALUATIONS

IV.  WITNESSES

V. EVIDENCE CONSIDERATIONS

VI. HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD?

VII. PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES

VIII. CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS

IX. CHILD MEDIATION GUIDELINES
 

Copyright © 2005 Bender Law Offices P.C., All Rights Reserved.
Divorce Lawyers, Separation Attorneys, Family Law, International Divorce, Mediation, Agreements, Child Custody, Court Services, Alimony, Domestic Violence, Child Support, Property Distribution, Spousal Support

6608-204 Six Forks Road . Raleigh, NC 27615 . USA

Phone: 919-870-9600 . Fax: 919-847-2473